As I write this I am asking the Lord to help me write my heart. The last few months have been a different season and journey in my life. Don’t even think I can explain it but I can share what He is sharing with me. One of the slowdowns of the last 2-3 months was that I was hurting. Ever since last August my sciatic has been out of sorts. It messed with me quite a bit which was aggravating for me when we had so many trips to go on and walk. Then at the end of December my knee got messed up and some days I just couldn’t keep going. I also had a bad cold and just didn’t feel good for a few weeks in January. I prayed, believed I was healed, received the healing and believed. I wasn’t getting better but worse. What’s the next step after that? For me – condemnation. I found myself on a rollercoaster of believing the lies of the enemy about who I am. I think this is easier done when you are already down with pain. So one week I decided to take the week to heal. I didn’t do heavy work, I sat with my knee up a lot, prayed, read, fasted and listened. I went to my heart several times that week and the Lord showed me how much I had weighed myself down with burdens. I do cast my cares on the Lord and give Him my hurts and pain but I think I let them build up a bit before I do that. This time as I went to my heart it wasn’t the same as many other times. Many times I go to my heart and physically see myself handing Jesus my black trash bags of crude – fear, doubt, confusion and such. But this was different – I was handing the Lord beautiful hearts from my heart. I wondered why I would have to give Him these hearts of my family. Carrying the heart of each family member should not be a big deal but even though it wasn’t something black and negative – carrying my family’s hearts could weigh me down and it did. I am not meant to carry anything on my own! I know when I personally am getting off track a bit in my walk with the Lord. When I get focused on my issues to a certain point I get down on myself and get into condemnation.
The Lord continued to speak to me to Be still and know I am God. Sometimes we focus more on just being still but we are to be still for a purpose – to know Him. I took time to rest and be in His presence. I have stilled my heart from the pressures of life and have let Him speak to me softly. I am so thankful I didn’t run from what He asked me to do.
“For You know the thoughts and plans that You have for me. They are thoughts and plans for welfare and peace not for evil, to give me hope in my final outcome. I will call upon You, and You hear me. I seek You, inquire for and require You as a vital necessity and I find You as I search with all my heart.” Jeremiah 29:11-13
He is a vital necessity in my life – in my every day – in every moment. Without Him there would be no peace in my life. Then He showed me that my words were effecting my health. I was a bit discouraged, had some fear – yes, fear. I have had to daily know Him as my Perfect Love and cast out the fear I have with Mom and Dave’s situation. “Perfect love casts out fear.” My words were condemnation on myself for not seeing the healing, for making lots of mistakes, for failing people. It becomes a vicious circle sometimes. “The mind of the wise instructs his mouth and adds learning and persuasiveness to his lips. Pleasant words are as a honeycomb, sweet to the mind and healing to the body.” Proverbs 16:23-24
Then the Lord gave me the verses in Joshua to meditate on. In my quiet time with Him He showed me I was being weak and do lots of complaining in my heart. “Be strong, confident and of good courage… Only you be strong and very courageous that you may do according to My word. Turn not from it to the right hand or to the left that you may prosper wherever you go. My word shall not depart from out of your mouth but you shall meditate on it day and night that you may observe and do according to all that is written in it. For then you shall make your way prosperous and then you shall deal wisely and have good success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong, vigorous, and very courageous. Be not afraid, neither be dismayed, for I the Lord your God am with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:6-9 These verses have ministered to my heart many times in the past. When I get whiny and scared I go to the Lord in His courage. Right now it seems like things are not going forward. I know they are in the spirit realm but sometimes in a season of waiting it is easy to get weary. Ed looked at me one day lately and said, “And don’t allow yourselves to be weary or disheartened in planting good seeds, for the season of reaping the wonderful harvest you’ve planted is coming!” Galatians 6:9
As Ed shared a couple weeks ago, we had let discouragement seek in. We weren’t guarding our hearts. We were not being strong and courageous. We realized the place we were in and shook it off and agreed with Him! We decided to laugh at the enemy’s attempt to knock us down and we were to be strong in the Lord. Sometimes we feel we missed something, we didn’t hear clearly maybe. Then I read one morning, “We never need to fear missing the Lord. He knows how to point each of us in the right direction. We can’t believe the lie that our inability to hear Him is greater than His ability to speak.” That thought hit my heart. I guess sometimes I struggle if I heard correct, did I hear Him clear or did I hear Him at all? He told me He’s got my issues and He has me. Time to stop trying so hard and just rest in Him.
In Isaiah 3:15 it says, “In quietness and in trusting confidence shall be your strength..” I love to be taken away in His quietness – in the stillness of His love – in His peace. I declare that these times with Him are – times of peace, refreshment, confidence, strength, encouragement. After I had written this I read my devotion for the day. This is part of what it said, “There are times I need you to be vigilant and courageous. But then there are times I call you to sit with me beside the still waters so I can refresh your soul.” I have enjoyed the days of sitting quietly and healing.
“Let be and be still, and know, recognize and understand that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted among the earth.” Psalm 46:10
It’s been a rollercoaster with Dave. This is a hard situation right now to even know how to pray. All I know is to thank the Lord for His guidance and that He makes sure we hear. Dave went in to start the final leg of this clinical study to beat this cancer to find out the tumor had grown since January and they could not do the treatment because it wouldn’t work – it wasn’t working. But through His great wisdom the Lord lead a nurse to get a MRI done to double check the size of the tumor and they found a blood clot in his neck. Without the MRI, which wasn’t in the original plans, they wouldn’t have known about the blood clot. The Lord is guiding but it’s hard to wait when you don’t know if things will happen this week, next week or when. No matter what they do at this point the treatments will be risky and critical. But the Lord has taken care of each detail from the beginning. Dave is being up but concerned. Mom sits for hours praying. The unknown of the next few weeks is scary but He says to be strong and courageous and to be still and watch Him. “So above all, constantly chase after the realm of God’s kingdom and the righteousness that proceeds from him. Then all these less important things will be given to you abundantly. Refuse to worry about tomorrow, but deal with each challenge that comes your way, one day at a time. Tomorrow will take care of itself.” Matthew 6:33-34
We continue to guard our hearts against fear and doubt. We stand strong and courageous as we go forward and spend time being still with Him. We don’t ever know what tomorrow holds so we have to trust Him in all things. He’s never failed us – He’s never failed you. He loves us – He loves you. Right now we know the Holy Spirit is with all of us comforting and guiding in every situation! Let’s stay courageous and strong together while resting in Him!
The Lord continued to speak to me to Be still and know I am God. Sometimes we focus more on just being still but we are to be still for a purpose – to know Him. I took time to rest and be in His presence. I have stilled my heart from the pressures of life and have let Him speak to me softly. I am so thankful I didn’t run from what He asked me to do.
“For You know the thoughts and plans that You have for me. They are thoughts and plans for welfare and peace not for evil, to give me hope in my final outcome. I will call upon You, and You hear me. I seek You, inquire for and require You as a vital necessity and I find You as I search with all my heart.” Jeremiah 29:11-13
He is a vital necessity in my life – in my every day – in every moment. Without Him there would be no peace in my life. Then He showed me that my words were effecting my health. I was a bit discouraged, had some fear – yes, fear. I have had to daily know Him as my Perfect Love and cast out the fear I have with Mom and Dave’s situation. “Perfect love casts out fear.” My words were condemnation on myself for not seeing the healing, for making lots of mistakes, for failing people. It becomes a vicious circle sometimes. “The mind of the wise instructs his mouth and adds learning and persuasiveness to his lips. Pleasant words are as a honeycomb, sweet to the mind and healing to the body.” Proverbs 16:23-24
Then the Lord gave me the verses in Joshua to meditate on. In my quiet time with Him He showed me I was being weak and do lots of complaining in my heart. “Be strong, confident and of good courage… Only you be strong and very courageous that you may do according to My word. Turn not from it to the right hand or to the left that you may prosper wherever you go. My word shall not depart from out of your mouth but you shall meditate on it day and night that you may observe and do according to all that is written in it. For then you shall make your way prosperous and then you shall deal wisely and have good success. Have I not commanded you? Be strong, vigorous, and very courageous. Be not afraid, neither be dismayed, for I the Lord your God am with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:6-9 These verses have ministered to my heart many times in the past. When I get whiny and scared I go to the Lord in His courage. Right now it seems like things are not going forward. I know they are in the spirit realm but sometimes in a season of waiting it is easy to get weary. Ed looked at me one day lately and said, “And don’t allow yourselves to be weary or disheartened in planting good seeds, for the season of reaping the wonderful harvest you’ve planted is coming!” Galatians 6:9
As Ed shared a couple weeks ago, we had let discouragement seek in. We weren’t guarding our hearts. We were not being strong and courageous. We realized the place we were in and shook it off and agreed with Him! We decided to laugh at the enemy’s attempt to knock us down and we were to be strong in the Lord. Sometimes we feel we missed something, we didn’t hear clearly maybe. Then I read one morning, “We never need to fear missing the Lord. He knows how to point each of us in the right direction. We can’t believe the lie that our inability to hear Him is greater than His ability to speak.” That thought hit my heart. I guess sometimes I struggle if I heard correct, did I hear Him clear or did I hear Him at all? He told me He’s got my issues and He has me. Time to stop trying so hard and just rest in Him.
In Isaiah 3:15 it says, “In quietness and in trusting confidence shall be your strength..” I love to be taken away in His quietness – in the stillness of His love – in His peace. I declare that these times with Him are – times of peace, refreshment, confidence, strength, encouragement. After I had written this I read my devotion for the day. This is part of what it said, “There are times I need you to be vigilant and courageous. But then there are times I call you to sit with me beside the still waters so I can refresh your soul.” I have enjoyed the days of sitting quietly and healing.
“Let be and be still, and know, recognize and understand that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations. I will be exalted among the earth.” Psalm 46:10
It’s been a rollercoaster with Dave. This is a hard situation right now to even know how to pray. All I know is to thank the Lord for His guidance and that He makes sure we hear. Dave went in to start the final leg of this clinical study to beat this cancer to find out the tumor had grown since January and they could not do the treatment because it wouldn’t work – it wasn’t working. But through His great wisdom the Lord lead a nurse to get a MRI done to double check the size of the tumor and they found a blood clot in his neck. Without the MRI, which wasn’t in the original plans, they wouldn’t have known about the blood clot. The Lord is guiding but it’s hard to wait when you don’t know if things will happen this week, next week or when. No matter what they do at this point the treatments will be risky and critical. But the Lord has taken care of each detail from the beginning. Dave is being up but concerned. Mom sits for hours praying. The unknown of the next few weeks is scary but He says to be strong and courageous and to be still and watch Him. “So above all, constantly chase after the realm of God’s kingdom and the righteousness that proceeds from him. Then all these less important things will be given to you abundantly. Refuse to worry about tomorrow, but deal with each challenge that comes your way, one day at a time. Tomorrow will take care of itself.” Matthew 6:33-34
We continue to guard our hearts against fear and doubt. We stand strong and courageous as we go forward and spend time being still with Him. We don’t ever know what tomorrow holds so we have to trust Him in all things. He’s never failed us – He’s never failed you. He loves us – He loves you. Right now we know the Holy Spirit is with all of us comforting and guiding in every situation! Let’s stay courageous and strong together while resting in Him!
