October 10, 2021
 
This past week we had the privilege and honor to go to the Andrew Wommack Ministers Conference. We’ve been before but never for the complete week. It was amazing, refreshing, rewarding and we just soaked it all in. The speakers were real with real life messages that we could all relate to. It was encouraging seeing how many pastors are on the same page we are with pastoring in this season of time and how strong we are together. Brings hope to us all.
 
I enjoyed a week of sitting in His Presence without too many distractions. It was something I needed right now. I needed healed of the wounds of the past few months and encouraged that I was one the right path. Sometimes we wonder when we feel so bombarded with stuff and never seem to be able to catch a break but hear Him say, “Well done my faithful servant.” We all need to hear those words when distractions seem to be hitting us from every direction.
 
My time is limited again this week as we spent our time with our precious friend, Bill, before he went home to Kenya. But I hope I can get my heart across. I’ve been seeking the Lord on what to share with you and I think the thing that I am dealing with right now if keeping my mind on His Words. My thoughts get scattered, the memories hurt and my break starts aching. I’ve dealt with unforgiveness, taking my thoughts captive, having courage, and the words of my mouth.
 
Even though I know this truth it hit be pretty hard when I read it this week. “What is happening through His Spirit I CANNOT maintain with fleshly efforts.” What He is doing in the Spirit what makes me think it will still work when I am in the flesh? That’s a DAH but I find myself feeling like a failure because what I thought and experienced in my intimate time with Him disappears later in the day. Of course, it will disappear if I get my thoughts and words in unforgiveness and anger. I’m trying to maintain it but I know I need to keep my thoughts on Him. I hadn’t TOTALLY surrendered some of life’s situations to Him. The situations that hit you in the face everyday are the ones that at times I get distracted with and let the flesh fly. That’s where the verse He gave me about 6 weeks ago becomes so powerful and such truth for my life.
 
“Since we are approaching the end of all things, be intentional, purposeful, and self-controlled so that you can be given to prayer. Above all, constantly echo God’s intense love for one another, for love will be a canopy over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:7-8
 
I have to intentionally and purposefully with self-control take every thought captive and give it to Him. This isn’t always easy. I let the hurt and frustrations of my situations get the best of me at times and I lost some self-control. My situations felt justified of the anger and hurt I was carrying but that was the lie of the enemy. When one thing after another came and caught us so off guard we ended up exhausted and open to letting the little foxes remain in our vineyard. Sometimes you just felt too weary to fight the good fight of faith. At least that is where I have been. I could tell anyone else not to do that but the grief of losing our grandson, Caleb, put me in a place of almost despair and then when the situation with Mom hit I just didn’t know what to do with it all. But I am learning, 😊. I am more than a conqueror. I am His and He is holding me through it all. I spent precious time with the Lord every morning but then let the rest of my day and situations dictate me.
 
“We can demolish every deceptive fantasy that opposes God and break through every arrogant attitude that is raised up in defiance of the true knowledge of God. We capture, like prisoners of war, every thought and insist that it bow in obedience to the Anointed One.” 2 Corinthians 10:5
 
“You must catch the troubling foxes, those sly little foxes that hinder our relationship. For they raid our budding vineyard of love to ruin what I’ve planted within you. Will you catch them and remove them for me? We will do it together.”
Song of Solomon 2:15
 
I am starting to identify my distractions, the issues of life that cause me to get off track. I have to consciously surrender those to the Lord and renew my mind to His Words and thoughts.
 
“Jesus answered him, “‘Love the Lord your God with every passion of your heart, with all the energy of your being, and with every thought that is within you.’ This is the great and supreme commandment.” Matthew 22:37-38
One more verse and I will continue this another time.
“Here’s what I’ve learned through it all:
    Don’t be impatient;
    Be entwined as one with the Lord.
    Be brave and courageous,
    And never lose hope.
    Yes, keep on waiting—for he will never disappoint you!” Psalm 27:14
 
Isn’t He awesome to give us every thought we need to think on so that we will be healed!!

October 3, 2021
Wow! September went fast! I was disappointed the other day when I realized I missed the first day of Autumn! How did I do that? As most people, I love the fall.
 
As I shared last week, I am fasting eating calories. During this time of fasting, I’ve been able to more effortlessly concentrate on issues in my life and heart. Because my focus is having self-control in my life including some foods, my focus then turns to self-control in my words (this is coming slowly😊), staying in peace, no negative expectations, humility and keeping myself off my mind. I’m intentionally stopping and breathing in His peace and exhaling stress. It’s amazing how those changes things. My blood pressure is normal every time I do that!
 
One of my greatest downfalls is my words. Always has been. Mostly, it’s my self-talk but my self-talk leaks out some times. My self-talk is not self-controlled. Plus, the meditations of my heart are then not controlled. With so many situations occurring right now that we are guardians over plus normal life, I have plenty of opportunities to grip and complain, mostly in my head. When things are quiet my mind gets busy and sometimes with negative expectations and fears. I can silently cry and no one knows. But that’s not what I need to be doing to see victorious outcomes in our life! The meditations of my heart have to be on Him and about Him.
 
We’ve heard that being trustworthy and humble is doing the right thing when no one is looking. It’s also meditating on the right things when no one else knows what’s on your mind.
 
“We view our slight, short-lived troubles in the light of eternity. We see our difficulties as the substance that produces for us an eternal, weighty glory far beyond all comparison, because we don’t focus our attention on what is seen but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but the unseen realm is eternal.”
2 Corinthians 4:17-18
 
Life has been challenging at times lately and I can get so self-focused. I have been so focused on doing what seems right in my heart, and it may be, that I want to control everything to get the right results.
 
“What is the cause of your conflicts and quarrels with each other? Doesn’t the battle begin inside of you as you fight to have your own way and fulfill your own desires?”
James 4:1
 
I am learning to open my hands and hand over the things I want to control right now.
 
“It is through him that we live and function and have our identity; just as your own poets have said, ‘Our lineage comes from him.” Acts 17:28
 
This week I ran out of time or didn’t take time, not sure, to write more but I wanted to share at least a bit of what the Lord is showing me and pray it helps you. Here’s a couple more life verses that I am intentionally meditating on day and night.
 
“Trust in the Lord completely, and do not rely on your own opinions. With all your heart rely on him to guide you, and he will lead you in every decision you make.  Become intimate with him in whatever you do, and he will lead you wherever you go.” Proverbs 3:5-6
 
With all your heart rely on him – This is total surrender.
 
“So may the words of my mouth, my meditation-thoughts, and every movement of my heart be always pure and pleasing, acceptable before your eyes, Yahweh, my only Redeemer, my Protector.” Psalm 19:14
 
“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart Be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer.” Psalm 19:14 NKJV
This has been my prayer since I was a little girl. What I say and meditate on changes everything in my life. I am going forward with focused intentions, His purposes and self-control. I’m so excited to see what He has for me and us. We are victorious!
 
“Since we are approaching the end of all things, be intentional, purposeful, and self-controlled so that you can be given to prayer. Above all, constantly echo God’s intense love for one another, for love will be a canopy over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:7-8
 
PS. I have a prayer request😊. My right hand goes to sleep so much and it is a challenge to type at times. Just takes me longer. Pray I can continue to release all the baggage, cares of the world and stuff I am carrying on my shoulders so life can flow to my hand. I know I am healed and even though I don’t see the manifestation, I know it is there. Thank you.

September 26, 2021
Today I am sharing something that I believe is changing my life and heart. It is something I have never shared before and somethings the experiences I have had are hard to put into words but I will do my best. “Since we are approaching the end of all things, be intentional, purposeful, and self-controlled so that you can be given to prayer. Above all, constantly echo God’s intense love for one another, for love will be a canopy over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:7-8
 
This verse came alive to me about a month ago. I was seeking the Lord’s direction for my life and this is the verse He gave me. About at the same time the Lord spoke another word to me. It was all is a season of crying out that I needed His Wisdom and power to get out of the hole I was digging for myself. The Lord told me to fast. Fasting is a scary word to me. I haven’t seen too many calls to fast that weren’t more about works than relationship. I don’t believe that fasting moves the hand of God in a situation. God sent His Son, Jesus, to die on the cross, take our sins and deal with them once and for all, and through His resurrection power, He rose from the dead, I no longer relate to Him on a works basis. When we accept Him as our Savior and surrender our life to Him, we now can have a heart to heart relationship. Even though I have known for years that fasting is something He told us to do and He did Himself, I didn’t understand and wanted my motives to be pure.
 
“From the moment of his baptism, Jesus overflowed with the Holy Spirit. He was taken by the Spirit from the Jordan into the wilderness of Judea to experience for forty days the ordeal of testing by the accuser. He ate no food during this time and ended his forty-day fast very hungry.” Luke 4:1-2
 
“While they were worshiping as priests before the Lord in prayer and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, “I have called Barnabas and Saul to do an important work for me. Now, release them to go and fulfill it.” Acts 13:2
 
I believe true, Biblical fasting is about food. I wasn’t sure exactly how to fast right now in this season of my life but committed myself to Him to fast. Then He showed me a devotional that was new from the same authors of the devotionals I really enjoy. It was about fasting for 40 days. I wasn’t sure if I wanted that but thought I could at least check it out. I received the book in the mail and at the beginning of September started my 40 days of pray and fasting. I knew it would be hard right now to be totally committed to a complete food fast and hours of praying. Right now, meal times in our home are special times to talk with Mom and one another. So, He showed me to fast calories for this season and pray. I knew that was a great idea for my health also. Last few months I have done a lot of emotional eating and when I had nervous stomach aches I ate what would make them feel better which was usually a bread or something not that good for me.
 
We all know these times are different and we won’t see pre Covid times again. The changes have affected our lives, our homes, our work and the church. To be honest, I don’t want to go back to some things. Our lives and the church were very complacent 2 years ago. You pretty much knew what tomorrow would bring, and next month. We cannot say that about any day now. We do not know what tomorrow will bring. This is a real time battle and we have to stand if we are going to follow the Lord and His leading right now. We can’t follow if we are sitting or lying down. We must have a heart that is pure and whole for this time and season. We must also have a purpose and do all we do with purpose and intention. Can’t be tossed too and fro. We cannot stand and be wishy washy.
 
Then He told me we cannot go forward and standing for what is right if we don’t have self- control. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit and so powerful. Right now, the world is lacking self-control. We are blasted with advertisements that deny self-control but encourage self-indulgence. We are told we deserve this so go ahead, or that it’s our body our choice so do whatever feels good to you, you have rights. The world has let themselves go with no discipline or self-control. The truth is we are loved by God, valuable, and worthy. Our identity is in Christ and we don’t have to have worth and value from the world. The enemy knew how to draw people into his trap with this one. Doing whatever we want without self-control is selfish pride.
 
I was lacking some self-control in many areas of my life and that’s how I knew I was headed down a wrong path. Lately, I would say what I wanted to say, eat what I wanted to eat, feel like I wanted – angry – mad – selfish. I wasn’t heeding the Word and knew I wasn’t living according to the Scriptures. Fasting takes self-control. Biblical self-control, me being controlled by the Spirit. No one can stand in these days without self-control. It is vital. Without self-control we can be easily persuaded and deceived. Self-indulgence is the evil we are feeling everyday when we go out into the world. It’s all about self. Pride comes before a fall. Pride, selfish, self-indulgence will not prosper in any way and it is encouraged in every part of the “world” from the time we are infants to the elderly.
 
The 1 Peter 4:7 says to be intentional, with purpose and self-control so that we can be given to prayer, “Since we are approaching the end of all things, be intentional, purposeful, and self-controlled so that you can be given to prayer.” 1 Peter 4:7 Fervent prayer is vital these last days. Hearing Hm clearly is crucial and life-saving. When we are fasting it helps us get ride of the distractions that dull our thinking and clarity. “Now I’ll listen carefully for your voice and wait to hear whatever you say. Let me hear your promise of peace—the message every one of your godly lovers longs to hear. Don’t let us in our ignorance turn back from following you.: Psalm 85:8
 
So many people are struggling. So many are confused especially about the vaccination. It’s such an evil, manipulating, attack from the enemy   ! As pastors our hearts hurt when the people’s hearts hurt. We are seeing weariness instead of joy. Fear instead of love, trust, and faith. People are loaded with cares instead of casting them to him. As a church family it is imperative, we draw closer together in these last days.
 
“So now wrap your heart tightly around the hope that lives within us, knowing that God always keeps his promises! Discover creative ways to encourage others and to motivate them toward acts of compassion, doing beautiful works as expressions of love. This is not the time to pull away and neglect meeting together, as some have formed the habit of doing. In fact, we should come together even more frequently, eager to encourage and urge each other onward as we anticipate that day dawning.” Hebrews 10:23-25 We need to come together.
 
I’m strongly encouraging you to pray about fasting. Some of the ladies have committed to fasting together for 40 days using this devotional guide to help us. We don’t fast to gain God’s approval or to get Him to answer our prayers. We fast and pray to cleanse out some of the distractions and because we love Him so much and know we are loved. The devotional says,
 ”we push the plate away because we are hungry for something food cannot give.”  My heart has been so deeply healed in the last couple weeks. What He is doing for me, He wants to do for you. If you want to do this fast with our ladies’ group or on your own ask me about the devotional that has helped me so much. Ladies, if you want to join this time of prayer and fasting talk to me, Mona. The books are a gift to each lady. Let’s go to the next level. This is a part of the preparation for all that is ahead. It won’t be the last time we fast together either. This is so vital and crucial for knowing what direction we are to go. Pray about it and talk to me if you have questions. Love you all so much and so blessed that we have each other as we forge forward in this exciting time of life!