February 27, 2022
Some weeks I don’t know where to begin with what to share. Lately each week has been full of experiences and opportunities to just draw near and dwell in His presence and wisdom. He speaks clearly to me and I’m desiring a heart that is open to listen constantly.
 
One area of my life He never stops ministering to me in is the area of words, my words and His words. It is so easy for me to start jabbering away without real awareness of what the words are doing to my life. This week in our home we realized that all of us were speaking words that didn’t equal life. The cares of the world and meditations of our hearts had caused us to look at life through condemnation glasses. Every word any of us spoke was taken out of context and heard through the perspective of blame and accusation causing us to answer with excuses, self-pity and selfishness. Excuses = condemnation. The enemy’s greatest lie is to cause each of us to doubt our identity – or doubt who we are in Christ. When we are looking through the glasses of condemnation everything seems to attack our identity. The words we were speaking, hearing and believing were not words of life but of death. We decided as a family to put a halt to this before it killed relationships. We came together and took off the blindfolds that were causing us to only see darkness and not life. We put on our love glasses and made commitments to see things through His eyes and love. Made a difference immediately.
 
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it [for death or life].” Proverbs 18:21
 
This last week we made another quick trip to Tucson. Yes, we missed all the great weather here😊. It was also cool in Tucson which was nice as we were working so hard on making another big dent in Ed’s cousin’s home. We still haven’t found the papers were need to prove we are Candy’s next of kin. It is still overwhelming to see everything she has and go through it all. We are still wondering if we are hearing Him clearly. Ed had 3 ladies to help him this time and together we loaded to the brim and overflowing a 40-yard dumpster!  As we are doing this we are wandering if we are doing right. Is this a waste of time, energy and money? As we prayed one morning, we heard the Lord say, “You are doing what I asked you to do!” We know what He asked us but we also threw in a few questions of our own we wanted answered. He just reminded us of His original word last September. This is from that time, September 2021.
 
“The first day when we walked into her home it took everything out of us. Her wonderful neighbors had done all they could for her and were there to walk through this with us. We were exhausted from leaving home at 3 am for our flight, it was 104 in Tucson and we were overwhelmed with sorrow when we walked through her home wondering where to begin. We decided to get a good night’s sleep and see what the next day brought. She has debt on the house and we were ready to take the keys, give them to the bank and walk away. I didn’t get a good night’s rest but I saw things different in the morning. His mercies are new every morning. That morning as I was praying and seeking His Wisdom I heard Him say this: “Candy’s house represents the world. The filth, clutter, sickness, hopelessness, stench, darkness is how I see the world.” Wow! I never expected that! Then He asked, “Are you walking away from the world? Get up! Take dominion! No fear!  The neighbors had told us that rattlesnakes were in the garage living on all the pack rats.  “Call in what you are looking for and dig in!!” Then He said, “the sadness it brought should ignite action in Me! Take dominion and bring My glory to the situation” He told us to make a plan and get over ourselves and dig in. So that is what we did. We bought suits to wear while we worked in there, masks, head covering and dug in without any reservations. Didn’t find all the paperwork we had hoped to find but found enough to take care of immediate business.
 
Then we asked Him to show us what our part of ministering to the world is right now. We know ministry isn’t what it used to be. Church isn’t the same. People are hurting living in the disgust of the enemy and want to know a way out.
 
“Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who replace darkness with light and light with darkness, who replace bitter with sweet and sweet with bitter. Woe to those who are wise in their own eyes and see themselves as clever and shrewd. Woe to the champion wine drinkers who are heroes in mixing strong drinks--judges and politicians who acquit the guilty for a bribe and take away the rights of the innocent.”  Isaiah 5:20-23 TPT
 
Two more trips later we still don’t know many answers we were looking for. All we know is that is what we are called to do. We will listen and follow His ways. We know we have made some impacts on lives. Nothing makes sense as far as the world would see it. This world makes absolutely no sense. We must keep bringing light, hope and a future to this world. As bad as Candy’s home environment was, only a couple people knew the truth. She put on a great face and we didn’t see the years of hurt she was carrying. The Lord showed me that we don’t even truly know what the people around us are experiencing or feeling. We know the world is hurting and living in darkness. We know what the Word tells us about people who are lost without Him. We know our time to reach the hurting world is getting shorter. We know His love never fails. We know sharing His life, light and love in the darkness dispels the darkness. We know His Word never returns void.
 
“Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding. Cry out for insight,
 and ask for understanding. Search for them as you would for silver; seek them like hidden treasures. Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord,
and you will gain knowledge of God.” Proverbs 2:2-5
 
 
Our ministry is to call evil evil and good good, to replace darkness with light, to replace bitter with sweet. To not be wise in our own eyes or see ourselves as clever and shrewd but to bring His Wisdom to these hurting, confused people and show them the way of the innocent and righteous.
 
“Do not yield to fear, for I am always near.  Never turn your gaze from me, for I am your faithful God. I will infuse you with my strength    and help you in every situation.  I will hold you firmly with my victorious right hand.’” Isaiah 41:10  TPT
 
Let’s continue to seek Him and His wisdom, to be obedient to His words and speak words of life. We are to continue to come together in unity praying together and encouraging one another. Not everything He directs you to do will make sense in the natural. May cost you lots of time and money but if it is from Him, it is all worth it. The peace, joy, and rest that come from His ways are far above any earthly treasure we will ever find. Make the most of each day and know that the time is short. Laugh, rejoice, dance and celebrate His goodness. Anticipate that everyday is going to be the best day ever!

February 20, 2022
The past year I’ve been on a journey of seeking the Lord in ways I had never done before, or at least, not as passionately as I am now. It’s an amazing journey of learning so much about myself, my strengths, my weaknesses, my gifts, my desires, my heart issues that hold me back, my faith that keeps me going forward and in all that His amazing love and mercy that is new EVERY morning!
 
Trials, tough times, and discouraging moments cross all our paths at some point in our lives. This has been a very trying year for us. I have written about my ups and downs weekly and I always want to give Him all the glory and honor for everything He is leading me through. In the 23rd Psalm it says, “Yea! Though I walk through the valley of shadow and death I will fear no evil for He is with me.” There will be times of walking THROUGH the valley but never staying there. He knew that and promised beforehand to NEVER leave us or forsake us. What a promise! We can hardly imagine such a promise! When you are in the valley you just keep moving and don’t even realize what you have been through until you look back at His faithfulness. The last year so many heart issues have come to the surface in my life and I don’t like dwelling on my flaws, but I know everyone has something the Lord is working on in their hearts and as He leads me through these issues, healing my heart and giving me hope my desire is that it encourages you.
 
This week I want to share another revelation He shared with me that I didn’t know was happening in my life. I just turned 68 in January and Ed will be there soon. Mom is 91, almost 92, so we started thinking about all the things we probably can’t do anymore, “at our age”😊. As we watched people ice skate – said never again will we do that. Skiing? I couldn’t ski before very well so probably not again. Snowmobile? Maybe on safe trails where we won’t get stuck. Travel to Kenya? Peru? Not with the vaccine mandate. Ride a horse? My knee doesn’t work right so probably won’t be safe. I remember all our firsts, first baby, first grandbaby, first great grandbaby, first mission trip, now we are talking last! I knew this wasn’t the right way to think but it was occurring more and more. Mostly, thinking about our physical bodies and not thinking we could afford to get hurt at this point in our lives we decided to maybe quit somethings, or at least I did. Ed is a bit more adventurous. Not sure what brought this in, maybe my responsibility to take care of Mom, not wanting to physically hurt anymore, just playing it safe – which is my nature. Then I am daily trying to encourage Mom of the things she can do but some are hard to go towards. Not Godly thinking for sure, but leaning on my own understanding.
 
Then one day I read Jeremiah 29:11,  “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” I know this verse well but it’s one you see on graduation cards or that young people proclaim. He spoke to me that there is no age limit on giving us a future and a hope. Doesn’t say you have a future and hope until you are 65, or 90. This promise is just as much for Mom as it is me. I thought I had hope but if I didn’t see a future – a vision, then there was not hope. Without hope there is no future and without a vision or future there is nothing to hope for.
 
“Where there is no vision, the people perish..” Proverbs 29:18
This is how I learned this verse and there is more to it but the truth is if you have no vision, no hope of a future, no revelation, it destroys you.
 
“Unrelenting disappointment leaves you heartsick, but a sudden good break can turn life around.” Proverbs 13:12 MSG


“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But when desire is fulfilled, it is a tree of life.” Proverbs 13:12 AMP
 
Without hope our heart are sick, discouraged, unstable. Without a true vision of our future in Him we have no earnest expectation of good. I know this sounds simple and a place where none of want or plan to go, but when we started thinking of our “lasts”, my heart took me there. There are “lasts” that come naturally and are a part of life. Unless we are Sarah, there is the last baby (Ours turns 40 tomorrow!). But I got caught up in thinking many “lasts”. Maybe it was part of the grief with Caleb. That was a first to lose a grandchild and I am speaking and declaring a last! Maybe taking care of Mom and making her life as fulfilled, happy and sure as possible. Doesn’t matter what brought it on, HE told me to send that mindset away! Even at 91 Mom has a future and hope in Him.
 
I read the other day a quote from C.S. Lewis: You are never too old to set another goal or dream another dream”.
 
We get what we consistently believe for and what we consistently see. It’s always our choice how wee view things. We should want to see through eyes of faith – not doubt which doesn’t let us see what is possible with God. We were always told to “knock the T off the can”. Can’t = no future – no vision – no hope. We know that with Him all things are possible and can’t shouldn’t even be in our vocabulary or have pictures of what we aren’t doing in our minds.
 
No hope, no future is doubt. Doubt steals our future blessings. When in doubt confusion, frustration and double-mindedness sets in and there’s no clarity of the Spirit. “ A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.” James 1:8 When we are unsure of what to do, what to think, what to believe, we are double-minded and unstable in all our ways! I don’t like that feeling! But without realizing it my lack of vision for a future was making me unstable. It's not that I didn’t think all would be good, or that He would leave me. I knew His promises were true and that He was good and loving and always leading, loving, healing, providing. What I was also looking at all my inabilities in the natural.
 
“We break down every thought and proud thing that puts itself up against the wisdom of God. We take hold of every thought and make it obey Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5 NLV
 
“Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love,  for the grapevines are blossoming!” Song of Solomon 2:15
 
Sometimes in the busyness of life we let the wrong thoughts, the little foxes, come in and try to steal the truth. It happens, that is why these verses are in the Word for us. He gave us the answer because He knew the enemy would try to “kill, steal and destroy” us in any way he can. I let those thoughts creep in for a few weeks and so thankful He showed me that my heart was going wayward. That’s the vital necessity of taking time to be with Him daily so these thoughts don’t took root.
 
“For my determined purpose is that I may know Him that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly, and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection which it exerts over believers, and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed in spirit into His likeness even to His death, in the hope”
Philippians 3:10 AMP
 
AMEN!